Wrestling criticism and the Devo Paradox
I read this article on the AV Club yesterday and immediately thought about wrestling critics and the culture of instant reaction. Here’s what I found most relevant:
It’s important to note, though, that the Devo skeptics weren’t “wrong” per se. Devo intended to provoke with its science-fiction mission statements and its emotionless renditions of ’60s party music, so the affronted reactions that the band received from some quarters weren’t just expected, but to some extent, desired. Art and criticism are supposed to be in conversation with each other, and the Devo-haters were just answering the band in the terms its members had established.
WWE provokes its audience in a similar way quite often. “Oh you like this guy? We’ll build him up then tear him down, just to get you to really boo his opponent.” WWE is not above manipulating fan demands to build up another project they’re working on.
Plenty of music-lovers dug Devo back in 1978. If anything, the loudest adverse reactions to Devo were an example of what happens when a solidly entertaining rock band is rejected by writers who’ve been hyped up to expect genius. The Devo phenomenon is representative of the way critics sometimes rush to apply the brakes to a trend or an artist that seems to be racing to premature canonization.
What wrestling critic isn’t guilty of this? Someone catches on and the IWC instantly turns on them: The Rock, Steve Austin, John Cena, hell, even before there was an internet, that segment of the wrestling fanbase turned on Hulk Hogan.
Ryan Adams talked about this… noting that each album he releases seems to be greeted with a shrug by critics who a year or two later will cite those same albums as the kind of excellent music that Adams doesn’t make any more. “What’s really happening is this: I’m making records, and people are fucking trying to have an instant emotional connection with something that’s bigger than them, bigger than their immediate response.”
In the 90s, I heard: “Why can’t WWE be like it was in the 80s? I miss the REAL wrestlers like Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Jake the Snake and the Ultimate Warrior.”
In the 00s, I heard: “Why can’t WWE be like it was in the 90s? I miss the REAL wrestlers like Stone Cold, The Rock and Mick Foley.”
In a few years, we’ll be pining for the days of Edge, CM Punk and Rey Mysterio.
Consider 2007, when two of the best American movies of the ’00s were released: No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood. The buzz on both was high before they were released, and throughout the end of ’07 and into early ’08, much ink was spilled about which of the two—if either—was really a new American classic, and which of the two was better. Who cares about these questions now? Both movies are so rich, powerful, and entertaining that they’ve easily outlasted the immediate attempts to pigeonhole, position, or nitpick them.
I usually shy away from bullshit self-help slogans that people post on their Facebook pages or retweet from Rev Run, but I read something a couple days ago that really stuck with me, “Will this matter a year from now?” And it can be applied to anything like worrying about what happened a work today to critiquing wrestling. Last year, Sheamus and Daniel Bryan were “buried” when they were bumped off the WrestleMania card. This year? They’re battling each other with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line. Did their snub last year matter a year from now? Obviously not. Even if it did and they faded into obscurity, wrestling is a continuing form of entertainment that just keeps rolling along. WWE’s missed a lot of opportunities over the years, but wrestling’s still on every Monday night and WrestleMania still happens every year with plenty of great and memorable moments along the way.
reacting nearly in real time to stories that sometimes take years to play out isn’t always fair to the writers and actors who are trying to develop ideas carefully over multiple episodes. Plus, the need to have something to say every week means that TV critics sometimes scrutinize beats and jokes more than they can withstand.
Raw and Smackdown are on every single week, 52 weeks a year, add in a monthly PPV and you have 244 hours of programming a year. Your average sitcom does about 8. Critically-acclaimed hour-long cable dramas do less than 10. Trying to analyze all 244 of those hours match-by-match, segment-by-segment, minute-by-minute is always going to make it seem worse than it really is. We all go into this knowing we’re not dealing with anything likeBreaking Bad or Game of Thrones, can it really stand up to that kind of scrutiny? Does it need to?
I hasten to add that I’m not pointing any fingers here that I wouldn’t point at myself. I know firsthand that when I’m writing about a show, I tend to be harder on it than if I’m just watching as a fan. I also know from decades of TV-watching that sometimes a series that seems to have gone off the rails looks much better than I remembered when I catch up with it again years later.
The Invasion wasn’t that bad. The Fingerpoke of Doom could’ve worked. WWECW was actually a really great wrestling show. But the hype, the refusal to let things play out (both by viewers and writers, fussing over a name, it killed our enjoyment at the time.
I am not as good of a writer as the AV Club’s Noel Murray, so I’ll leave this piece the same way he left his brilliant piece:
But professional critics and casual enthusiasts alike can always benefit from a little perspective, and a little patience. We should try to remember that sometimes the moment when we feel most compelled to comment on a piece of art is the moment when we’re least equipped to appreciate it.
Sunday Afternoon Smackdown: Bonus Super Smackdown Double Shot Plus TNA
Welcome to Sunday Afternoon Smackdown! Since nothing happened on February 10th edition, I decided to hold off and include the next episode as well as some TNA fun as well. However this will not include the latest episode of Impact because, well, I don’t want to hurt you like that.
Sunday Afternoon Smackdown Twists your Fate in our traditional WOO! vs BOO! format. Everything WOO! was better than Bully Ray’s calves. Everything BOO! deserves to be breathed on heavily as well as drooled upon by The Big Show.
WOO!
THE EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT OF TALENT RELATIONS AND THE INTERIM GENERAL MANAGER OF RAW MAKING APPEARENCES ON FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN
Having Mister Excitement on the phone for Smackdown was brilliant. Somehow, his voice sounds even better over the phone. WWE.com could make a killing selling Johnny Ace recording personalized outgoing messages for people. Just 5 minutes of boring before the beep.
Then he shows up again next week, bringing Otunga’s Thermos with him and shows Teddy Long how a real general manager works. You never see people destroying Mr. Laurinaitis’ office, do you? You never see him getting run over in videogames, do you? I didn’t think so.
RANDY ORTON: MAKING PEACE WITH THE INTERNET
Randy Orton used to be loved by the internet back when he was a terrible shitty wrestler. It was pretty much based on three things: 1) cutters are cool, 2) large gesturing taunts are cool 3)getting thrown in thumbtacks is cool. Then he started winning matches and everybody got super jaded about him. In the last year or so, Randy has been having good to great matches with internet darlings like Christian, The Artist Formally Known As CM Punk and now Daniel Brian Danielson Bryantson. Their match on Smackdown was certainly an example of that.
And sure, it looked like Danielson was really pulling his punches in that match, and understandably so because Randy Orton was born with glass bones and paper skin. But Randy actually let Danielson look like a legitimate contender. Even being dominated in certain parts, which makes perfect sense if it was their first match. Then the toss to the apron into the DDT was smart, instead of having the dude just wait out there for an eon, and finally Randy attacks Big Show by jumping a table like Randy Savage while Danielson lays in the ring dead like Ric Flair. Everything worked, and now with Randy being taken out of the match, I only want to see them wrestle again that much more.
THREE WORDS: “CALVES AND ABS”
TNA, be smart and put that on a shirt. Bully Ray and Bobby Roode are far and away the two best things in TNA right now, and putting them together, even for such a brief time, is something I will always cherish, like Bully cherishes his calves. Everything about them. From Roode screwing Bully time and time again, only to try to reform the alliance with promises of title shots, to Roode slapping Bully on the chest lightly saying “you follow my lead okay?” only to have the Bully responds with slightly harder chest slaps saying “stop hitting me”. Natural villainous chemistry, and I hope they are given a lot more time to screw each other over.
“Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug”—Bobby Roode
SAMOA JOE: CHAMPION
Our boy has gold again! After Magnus cut a pretty good promo about England on Impact, and weeks of Joe and Magnus trying to look legitimate over the dual brick shit houses, it is really great to finally be rewarded and see something kind of new happen in the tag scene in TNA that isn’t racist or Shannon Moore. Between that and the X Division matches kicking ass, there was actually a fair amount to like on Against All Odds. Except Gunner.
A TNA MAIN EVENT TO LIKE
I know, it’s insane. But TNA actually put on a compelling main event match. Bully Ray abstaining for the first portion while the good guys gave us catharsis at the expense of Roode was nothing but logical. The teased Beer Money taunt, Bully Ray popping up from Hardy’s messed up Twist of Fate Stunner like he was the reincarnation of Scott Fucking Hall, (don’t email me saying Scott Hall is alive, we both know that’s barely true).
And then finally, Roode got under Sting’s skin. He made Sting lose control. Anytime anyone gets spit on in wrestling, I love it. And while it was sort of telegraphed with Hardy stumbling in the background briefly, it was still cool. And the placement was perfect, where Sting couldn’t see Storm getting to his feet in the back ground, and screaming at Jeff to get up. I thought it was going to be Business As Usual after the ref got bumped twice, but then Sting had to have his moral crisis and it was actually really compelling. Certainly more compelling than whatever Champ vs Authority Figure they have over in the WWE right now. Sting made a mistake unintentionally and couldn’t do the wrong thing intentionally. It was the perfect tone to strike for a clusterfuck TNA ending. And sure, it could all end in Hardy winning the title at Victory Road where he stumbled through all of his 30 second match just a year before, but still.
Honorable mention: AJ Styles travels with a Nintendo 3DS
I guess Steiner’s taunts about AJ sleeping in a race car bed with Winnie the Pooh sheets actually held some water. He plays Zelda to get over the hurt of Kaz and beats the hell out of his kids in Mario Kart.
BOO!
SHEAMUS: IN GENERAL
I can’t remember the last time I forgot somebody won the Royal Rumble within a month. How am I supposed to remember? He comes into the Rumble with only months of beating up Muhammad Hassan and his only narrative in the match is “OYM GONNA WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE…MATCH”, which is a far cry from the Ric Flairs and Shawn Michaelses before him. Then he wins it, and all he does after is say “OY WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE…MATCH!” and goes back to beating up dudes like he’s the general manager’s hired gun.
Not to mention his Great Shite shirt makes me uncomfortable, aside from it being washed out and terrible.
Then he cuts this promo, which I guess is supposed to be his Hate Me Now thing. Is it just me, or does it seem like Sheamus learned a fair amount of his moveset from beating up his childhood bullies? Also, was it JBL that told him his skin was too pale? Did they haze him? Did Bradshaw hog tie him in the shower and let Randy Orton rub tanning oil all over him? I hope we get all these answers and more in his autobiography It’s Not Easy Being White…It’s Not Easy Being Red.
TED DIBIASE IS A CLASSIST JERK
Seriously, if he would have just gotten over his hate for his gardeners, we wouldn’t have to watch the same kind of boring match every week. All bullies really just want to be loved and accepted, not beaten up and made to look like fools covered in silly string, (or poop if you’re bullying DX or Eddie Guerrero).
On a side note, Ted wears his tights way too tightly. I can see his bank rolls.
But bless Hunico for trying to turn shit into Shinola. He came in as Earth 3 Sin Cara and now is trying to tell Ted that he has an evil plan to ruin his bbqs by breaking his wrist. “NO MORE BURGER FLIPPIN FOR YOU ESE, YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO HOLD SOLID FOOD AGAIN”
ERIC BISCHOFF IS STILL NOT IN THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER VIDEOS
This has been bothering me for awhile, and is almost as big a travesty as nixing “THE WORLD IS WATHCHING” and trying to retcon Jim Ross out of continuity.
But seriously, the soundbyte of him saying “THE ELIMINATION CHAYMBURRRRR” has to be in the top ten best things that Easy E ever did. Right before getting on his knees to propose to Hulk Hogan and right after getting on his knees to blow Hulk Hogan.
SPEAKING OF HULK HOGAN: HULK HOGAN SPEAKING
I’m only going to provide a part of the exhaustion infused quote that Hogan gave during one of the U.K. events.
“If I gotta be the hood ornament that you put on front of the ship to bust through the ice cubes, to see through the fog, to feel through the darkness of the night. I can be the guy because I smell the greatness already. And if they don’t smell it, I’m going to take everybody in TNA and stuff their heads in it because greatness is their destiny.”
I expect Garrett Bischoff to have the Hall of Fame ring by this summer. I guess that’s what “Hulkamania stroke” really is: lateral nepotism. Or at least that’s what it will be until Hogan has his first stroke. Damn that Jeff Jarrett! New Blood 4 Life!
By the way, who is even in Immortal now? Horrace Hogan?
JEFF HARDY IS CLEARLY STILL ON DRUGS
There is no way a person can possibly be this delusional. How can he stand there with his Worst Birthday Ever facepaint and say that the odds are always against him?
I don’t even have to say it do I? On no less than 3 separate occasions have you been on a meteoric path of stardom, chance after chance to “GO FOR THE GOLD KID” and “MAKE YOURSELF FAMOUS” and you squandered it to smoke and make horrible videos with your Never Was brother.
Also, stop calling your fans enigmas, I know exactly who they are, from their kid size chewing tobacco to their hot topic rewards cards.
WWE’S OBSESSION WITH SMELL
Natalya cost herself a match last Friday because she apparently farted in the ring and the ref couldn’t make the count because his eyes were screaming or something. Just when I thought we were past this. What is with the writers these days, it’s all bad breath and bad farts and lawyer stink.
TEDDY LONG IS A RACIST, DREW MAC GOT SCREWED, AND SOMEBODY SHOULD START A PETITION TO SUSPEND BIG SHOW
So let me get this straight:
Mark Henry is taken out of the Chamber match because he wrinkled Teddy Long’s tie, and then is replaced with The Great Kahli off screen because they have to keep up a weight/chamber ratio, then Randy Orton gets taken out because he’s FRAGILE, so they need a replacement, then Mark Henry shows up despite being suspended indefinitely, so Big Show kills him after killing Kahli and destroys Teddy’s office and somehow DOESN’T get suspended OR taken out of the chamber, so then they have a battle royal featuring the J.O.B. Squad and Mark Henry is still not in it, I guess because he’s seeing little Big Shows flying around his head. They eliminate Drew Mac and David Otunga, the only two people who could go into the chamber with some semblance of a story and put Santino in it, who has only been jobbing to farts in the last few weeks, am I getting this? Am I understanding this correctly?
I just don’t see how this isn’t the worst chamber match ever. That is, unless the Cobra gets caught in the chains while Daniel and Cody take turns kicking Santino in the kidneys until he vomits on the front row.
Honorable Mention: Wade Barrett’s music sucks because it sounds like the first song some garage band wrote, and then they got big somehow and decided to give it a proper recording because their girlfriends liked it.
Logan Stallings (also known as Garcian Smith) is a Psychology student at the University of Florida. He’s working on an English minor. In his spare time he likes writing prose and poetry, as well as fantasizing about wrestling Chris Jericho and stealing all of Raven’s gimmicks.
I Miss (WW)ECW
I miss ECW.
No, I don’t miss the seminal Philadelphia-based promotion that revolutionized what it meant to be an indie promotion and influenced the most profitable period in wrestling history. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that ECW, but it ran its course, something that I’m reminded of every time someone tries to dig up its corpse and parade it around like it’s still vibrant. I love the spirit of the promotion, but the people who like to grave rob the company think that having Sabu jab a screwdriver into Justin Credible’s head is how we should be paying tribute in 2012.
What I miss is WWE’s third brand, the one called ECW in name only, the one that the fanboys sneered at like it was anathema that someone dared take the name they held sacred and paraded something that wasn’t low rent under that banner. Heh, as if anything in wrestling is really worth holding sacred. I miss the show WWE put on every Tuesday night, the one that gave the world Sheamus and Zack Ryder, where old guys like Tommy Dreamer and William Regal got to do their thing unfettered by restraint. That show ruled.
It was as close to an old-school wrestling show as we got from WWE on regular television. It was a simple formula. They put on wrestling matches, had guys feud over simple issues and based it all around the old staples of wrestling heat building, things like promos and interview segments. Given that that alone doesn’t make a good wrestling show, the reason why it worked was because the cast of characters was usually able to deliver the goods.
The roster included at times but wasn’t limited to CM Punk, The Miz, Ryder, Regal, Dreamer, Christian, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu, Chavo Guerrero and Mark Henry. It had Tony Atlas laughing like fiend over the befuddled indignation of Abraham Washington. It featured Matt Striker before he became insufferable and Todd Grisham before he started making inappropriate analogies on SportsCenter. It featured a great match at least once a month, including a series between Christian and Swagger that might have been the best thing WWE had in the ring in 2009.
Even when RAW and Smackdown both stagnated, ECW felt like it was something different, something fresh. Right now, that’s what’s missing from WWE programming on regular TV. I’ve heard great things about NXT, but it’s hard to sit down in front of a computer and watch TV on the small screen, no matter how good it is. Watching readily available programming on an actual TV screen is taken for granted so much. Right now, it might not seem like that much, since both RAW and Smackdown have more good weeks than bad. However, there’s always room for a breath of fresh air, for a spotlight for guys who deserve the spotlight but who can’t always have it on the bigger shows.
That’s why ECW was important, nay, essential. That’s why it was such a crime that people overlooked it and ignored it because of the name. WWE did do it a major disservice by keeping the name, because unlike any other fanbase, the rabid ECW fanboys often are the most possessive of their memories and upon what the label can be placed. It was the breath of fresh air, and it was packaged like it was a retread. Talk about false advertising.
So yeah, I will shamelessly admit that I shed a single tear every time I think of the new ECW. I may be in the minority, but I’d be way, way, WAY more excited for a return to SyFy of the WWE’s “bastard” version of the brand than even one more Hardcore Homecoming.
TH writes The Wrestling Blog and broadcasts The Wrestling Podcast. You can find him on Twitter, or at various other spots around the Internet. He also loves Chikara, and quite frankly, thinks you should too.
Edited by Jason Mann.
