Hey, it’s the ladies’ wrestling issue of Fair to Flair Quarterly, and it’s also the first edition of this column to appear in the Quarterly! In honor, I chose a game that would be fitting for both occasions; Super Fire Pro Wrestling: Queen’s Special. Now, this is the first Fire Pro game I’m covering in this column, but it isn’t the first or only Joshi (aka ladies’ wrestling) game to appear in the series. In fact, there were three women’s wrestling games in the Fire Pro series (plus nearly every Joshi star of note appears in Fire Pro Wrestling Returns, which also features men). The first was Zen-Nippon Joshi Pro Wrestling Kounin: Fire Pro Joshi All-Star Dream Slam for the Super Famicom (the Japanese Super Nintendo), the second was Wrestling Universe: Fire Pro Joshi—Doumu Chou Taisen for the PC Engine CD (the Japanese Turbografx-16 CD) and this game is the third.

Now, I may be getting ahead of myself, here. For those unaware, Fire Pro Wrestling is a legendary wrestling videogame series in Japan. Of the well over twenty entries release in Japan since 1989, only a handful have made their way to the states (most recently, Fire Pro Wrestling Returns, released here as a budget title on the PS2), leaving the series to languish in obscurity on this side of the Pacific. This, along with the general lack of popularity when it comes to women’s wrestling, explains this game’s non-appearance outside of the Land of the Rising Sun. In fact, only two women’s wrestling games that I’m aware of have been released in the US, and they’re both part of the same series. That series is Rumble Roses from Konami, with one installment on the PS2 and one on the Xbox 360. These games have a lot in common with the Dead or Alive series, in that they seem to be more about showing off virtual skin than actually providing a deep ladies’ wrestling experience.

This game, though? This game is not only serious about ladies’ pro wrestling, this game was licensed by the All Japan Women’s promotion. This is not normal, as all the non-Joshi Fire Pro games are not licensed, and throw together carbon copies of real wrestlers with fake names from all promotions to create dream matches and battle royales of cross promotional proportions! But for their Joshi spinoffs, the folks at developer HUMAN went out and got the license. So this game features a full rosters of amazing lady wrestlers in what was arguably the best ladies’ wrestling promotion in 1995, arguably one of their best periods.

And this roster is stacked. For the playthrough I did prior to writing this review, I used Manami Toyota, and Japanese Ocean Suplexed my way to the Red Belt. However, if I wanted to, I could have used Cutie Suzuki or Aja Kong or Lioness Asuka or Plum Mariko or even one of the two hidden characters, the legendary Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto. This is a stacked roster of Joshi stars from the ‘90s. And it is with one of these stars that you can choose to challenge the Red Belt, which is the main mode in which you fight all the other girls, one by one, until you win the AJW title. You can also form a dream tag team and aim for the tag titles. There are also other modes, like a battle royal, and, of course, Fire Pro’s famous edit mode, in which you create your own Joshi star to go after the title.

In the ring, the game plays very similarly to other games in the Fire Pro series. In fact, it’s almost identical to Super Fire Pro Wrestling X Premium, considered by many to be a high point in the series. The main differences are that the girls move faster than their male counterparts in X Premium, and there are a few exclusive moves, that for some reason or another, appear to have never shown up in any other Fire Pro titles. These include a few moves from Commando Bolshoi that are the kind of comedy moves she’s known for. It also includes the Nodawa Backbreaker (again, this is partially hearsay, as there are so many characters in each Fire Pro title, it would take a long time to do the fact checking here, but suffice it to say that I trust the experts at FireProClub.com).

The core gameplay is the same as other Fire Pro titles. You have three attack buttons, one each for weak, medium and strong. These apply to attacks in any situation, whether it’s hitting the ropes, coming off the turnbuckle or grappling, Y is always weak, B is always medium and A is always strong. This makes learning the controls very easy, which is good, especially since the timing and positioning of moves can be difficult to master.

In terms of wrestling realism, the game comes closer than, say, WWF Wrestlefest, but the Fire Pro series had not yet begun to have match variations that included performance elements at this point, so in that respect, it’s still similar to a fighting game. The goal is to beat your opponent, and that’s it. It also doesn’t have any gimmick match options, which other SNES wrestling games do (though their gameplay systems don’t hold up the way this one does).

That’s about all there is to say about the game itself. What I did want to also mention is that the fact that three of these games came out, and were clearly worked on by people who were passionate about the material, and this speaks volumes about how differently ladies’ wrestling is treated in Japan vs the US. I’m sure there will be innumerable articles in this volume that discuss this, but videogames are a big deal. To get a license, put forth the effort, and put something out in the market with the confidence that it will sell is a clear statement that you believe there is a sizeable audience for it. And by the same token, not localizing it for English speaking territories speaks volumes about the lack of confidence in that audience (it merits mentioning that while now non-WWE games are about as rare as a dodo bird, in the 16-bit era, numerous non-WWE wrestling games came out in the US, including reskinned AJPW games that featured the male roster). I would love to see a US released women’s wrestling game. Hell, I would love to see a WWE game make it’s female characters not awful jokes who all have a walk animation like a stripper and are only useful in bra and panties matches (yes, some of the WWE games actually include bra and panties matches). Sadly, I doubt we’ll see any more, especially since Rumble Roses XX was basically a cheesecake-fest and didn’t sell very well (an estimated 100,000 copies worldwide).

But take heart, Joshi wrestling videogame players! This game is fantastic, and you can get an English translation patch online, so you can play the game and navigate the edit mode in your native tongue! It’s easily the best women’s wrestling game out there, and while that may sound like faint praise given the dearth of them, I mean it to be much more than that. It’s definitely better than any of the WWF games on the same system by an order of magnitude.

Joe Drilling co-founded and runs OnTheStick.com, a site that hosts a bi-weekly videogame podcast and an action movie podcast. He is a former pro wrestler and an actor. He loves videogames and wrestling more than almost anything, and thinks you should, too. You can follow his jackassery on Twitter @Shake_Well.

Edited by K Sawyer Paul.

There have been interesting posts this month about women who have made a significant impact in professional wrestling. One that I liked in particular was by Stephen T Stone regarding Kharma, aka Awesome Kong (real name: Kia Stevens). I am in agreement with Stone that eventually the 6’2, 272lb Stevens will eventually contend against the men of the WWE, and possibly even hold a belt traditionally held by men, given of course that there is no macho chauvinistic alpha male bullshit strike in the locker room against losing to a woman [Ed note: not likely].

Reading about Stevens and her potential and comparisons to other WWE women wrestlers brought to mind a lesser accomplished woman of similar stature: Lindsay Hayward, aka “Isis The Amazon”.

A few years ago, the 6’9’’, 245lb Hayward was signed to a WWE developmental contract, given the moniker “Aloisia” and was briefly showcased on WWE’s NXT program. She was only with the WWE for a few weeks, however, before being released and set back on the indy trail. Although there were rumors Hayward’s appearance in racy photos years earlier might have done her in, there was no confirmation on behalf of the WWE why she was let go.

My opinion is that in the pre-Kharma world of the WWE, Lindsay Hayward had no real options in the WWE, and that they had no other choice but to let her go. The very attribute that makes Isis the Amazon such a draw is the very thing holding her back from success at the top levels of professional wrestling.

Years ago, the WWE used Andre the Giant in a way that allowed territorial talents to shine while still getting maximum expose for Andre, using him as a traveling road show around the US and the world to face the best of each region. The thinking behind moving Andre was that if Andre were to stay in one place, he would have to hold a championship belt wherever he was due to his mere size. The fans would expect Andre to dominate and at 7’4 and over 500lbs, the unfortunate consequence was that at his prime few could realistically defeat him. Wrestling is a visual art, and smaller men are supposed to lose to giants, so the giant doesn’t look weak.

Unfortunately for Isis the Amazon, the WWE is no longer a one-person traveling circus. Hayward would be expected to fight her competition on a regular basis in matches that at least appeared realistic. With no women within a foot of Hayward’s height on the WWE roster when she was signed, Aloisia would have no realistic competition. As well, her lack of experience would have exploited her in any match with male competition. Could you imagine a rookie woman competing against the likes of Kane, the Undertaker, the Big Show, or anyone else in Hayward’s height range? It wouldn’t happen.

Unlike Stevens, Hayward was not able to work her way through the indies without being anything more than a sideshow. In order to put over women who stand between five and six feet tall, Hayward would have to exhibit more than just “monster” wrestling skills. As Awesome Kong, Stevens was able to hone her skills and become a capable wrestler in near-evenly matched spectacles, facing women who were above average. This was an opportunity Hayward has not had.

So why not re-sign Hayward now, with Stevens under contract? The fact is, Stevens is a far better wrestler with far more experience. Unless the WWE trains Lindsay Heyward at FCW for enough time to make her into a legitimate threat in a realistic, non-carnival sideshow wrestling match, Stevens will also exploit Hayward as a gimmick with beginner-level talent. Remember, with Stevens at 6’2 and Hayward at 6’9, seven inches does not a giant make. Hayward will have to learn the ropes in order to hold her own versus Kharma.

Maybe one day Isis the Amazon or Aliosia will make her WWE debut. Maybe she will storm into a Royal Rumble and eliminate Kharma as Giant Gonzales did to the Undertaker twenty years ago [Ed note: let’s hope the analogy ends there]. But once the smoke settles and realism permeates the illusion of professional wrestling, as she stands now, Lindsay Hayward will not be able to stand tall in the WWE.

Mike Lortz (aka Jordi Scrubbings) is a Tampa-based writer currently hanging out in Afghanistan. He has written for the Tampa Bay Times, Deadspin.com, and has been published in two books on Minor League Baseball. He is a WWE fan and steady presence in the Florida indy scene, to include a stint as Social Media Manager for the formerly Tampa-based All-Stars Wrestling of Florida. He has written about how wrestlers can increase their presence in social media, suggested using metrics to measure the worth of pro wrestlers, and recently lamented about the disconnect between writers and wrestlers.

Edited by K Sawyer Paul.

Many of you will think I’m that kind of female wrestling fan.

By which I mean, I’m the kind of fangirl the male fans love to hate. I think John Cena and his square-jawed All-American looks are dreamy, I’ll forgive Shawn Michaels just about anything so long as he continues to shake his ass to his theme music, and I would honestly rather listen to a Triple H promo than anything else.

The above statement shouldn’t have to be an apology, but it is, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned that male fans hate, it’s the ‘creepy fangirls’ getting their girl cooties all over wrestling. Female fans are consistently and almost-uniformly derided for expressing these kind of opinions, the assumption being that because our fandom is expressed in emotional terms, we’re somehow less worthy of discourse. But female fans are just as smart as male fans, we’re not going away, and we’re going to have opinions that are miles away from the predominantly-male internet wrestling community.

There is a long-standing idea in media that men watch for action and women watch for emotion. We see countless examples of this in the marketing for movies: smash-bang-shoot-em-up movies are for men, chick flicks are for women, and it’s prevalent in television show demographics. Wrestling is no different, and because it is so male-driven (and produced, enacted, etc.,) the emphasis is given to action and testosterone and anger over things like continuity and complex emotional narratives.

This divide between male and female viewership leads to a lot of (occasionally accurate but mostly incorrect) assumptions that women don’t care about wrestling matches. The assumption is that if you’re a female viewer, you cannot be as smart or educated or knowledgeable about wrestling as a male viewer. I’ve heard this used as a patronizing insult countless times: “You’re a girl, what do you know?” “Oh, just shut up and cheer for Cena.” “Isn’t it cute, she thinks she knows something about wrestling?”

But I’ve been a wrestling fan since I was eleven. I experienced the screwjob, the Monday night wars, the invasion, WWECW, and Katie Vick. I’ve attended ROH shows in high school gymnasiums, had the Sandman’s beer poured on me at the ECW arena, was on the aisle and shook every wrestler’s hand at WCW house shows, and watched the 2004 Royal Rumble with my forehead brushing the lights of the then-Wachovia Center’s nosebleed section. I cheer, boo, chant, heckle, hoist signs, and critique because I love.

I’m tired of constantly having to defend my right to be a wrestling fan, but I’m also tired of having to adjust my fandom based upon who I’m talking to. When I talk to a male fan, the pressure is intense. I have to be intelligent and well-spoken, but not too excitable, and definitely can’t defend my preferences based on attractiveness. I have to use all the ‘correct’ terms for moves, understand and utilize the insider lingo (kayfabe, heel, face, push, etc.,), and know the entire history of any given wrestler. I’ve never once felt that pressure from another female fan.

This isn’t a bad thing. I believe all fans should be capable of having intelligent, informed discussions, and able to defend their own opinions. But sometimes I just want to hang out and talk about how hideous wrestler X’s ring gear is, or why my love of E&C will exist until the end of time. Is that really so different from what male fans want to talk about? Why is it something female fans are only relegated to talking about with other female fans? There’s nothing wrong with being that kind of fan.

But Drea, you scoff, you’re making a big deal over nothing. Maybe male fans don’t want to hear women talking about how cute their favorite wrestler is or how much they hate the way the divas are treated. Maybe male fans want to deride Kelly Kelly and Randy Orton with their fellow bros. Maybe male fans can’t understand what’s so wrong about letting the men talk about the ‘business’ and the women enjoying the show.

Let me ask you, gentlemen: who, exactly, has ever shouted you down or told you you can’t? When have your credentials as a wrestling fan ever been called into question?

That’s what female wrestling fans get every time we open our mouths. Wrestling loves a double standard, and the one about female fans is that we’re all bubbleheaded twits who only watch for the pretty boys, and if we don’t live up to that stereotype, everyone wonders why. What’s more, male fans are catered-to by the show itself; the way it is structured, written, performed, shot is all centered on the male point of view. Women must accept the male-centered-gaze narrative because we have no choice.

To borrow a famous catchphrase, I’m getting tired of knowing my role and shutting my mouth. I think it’s time for the ladies to speak up.

Andrea Marshall was born and raised smack dab in ECW country, once got flipped off by Eric Bischoff for mocking his hair, and occasionally still dreams of becoming WWE’s first female commentator. When she isn’t yelling at her television over WWE/TNA, she teaches ESL and occasionally runs off to foreign countries.

Edited by K Sawyer Paul

In May 2011, the bawdy comedy Bridesmaids was released in theaters all across the world. While it seems ridiculous to discuss now, much of the marketing buzz related to the film hinged on a highly ridiculous argument that has an obvious answer: “Will people want to see women do crude humor?” The answer was a resounding yes. According to BoxOfficeMojo.com, the film has made $288 million and elevated talents like Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig to a greater stage.

There is a key scene in the movie where after eating bad food, the women get cursed with diarrhea while preparing to wear bridal outfits. To destroy the joke by overly explaining it, the humor of the scene is that they are in one of the fanciest venues of the world to do such a crude occurrence.

Right now isn’t a great time to compare film humor with wrestling humor simply because they aren’t in the same vein or universe. Wrestling humor often derives itself from a general knowledge of pro wrestling. Essentially, you have to know the product to really get where wrestling humor shines. Examples of this include the dichotomy of the original Mr. Perfect sporting clips and the parody done by Charlie Haas. Much of the humor relies on having seen the original¹, which is usually consistent with film parody as well.

However, wrestling humor has not reached where even the best comedy lies: fart humor. Earlier this year, the character of Natalya Neidhart adopted a trait rife with comedic potential: she began to fart on-screen. While this sounds utterly appalling — and in practice, it is dumb to watch — the real failure is not that farts aren’t funny. It’s that farts for no reason eliminate the reason that they are funny. If you fart in front of your wife and everyone jokes about the smell, I guarantee you it would not be difficult to at least elicit a chuckle. The comedian Louis C.K. said in a 2011 appearance on The Daily Show that “you don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.”

Louie’s comedy is often challenging the lines of what is “low humor” and “highbrow humor.” Louie challenges sex, masturbation, and body humor but is by far the best active comedian at present. It is because of a common fact: fart humor is funny when delivered in a situation that makes it funny.

Obviously, wrestling is probably the broadest comedy stage there is. Much is made about the improv skills of its performers, but ultimately the stage has a benefit and a disadvantage to a comedy stage in that the outcome is easy to see. Steve Austin will joke with an adversary, drink a beer, field possibly the worst chant in pro wrestling history², and then give the adversary a finisher for their troubles.

However, it is this broadness that does allow comedic advantages. Fart humor is funny in broad situations with characters that warrant it. This is what doesn’t make the dignified character of Natalya a great use of this, because she doesn’t behave in a pompous manner to make farting into a comedic prospect. Yet some wrestling characters could take this premise and make it hilarious.

As an example, there is the character of ODB in Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. ODB’s gimmick is that of a toughened redneck in the same vein as a Steve Austin, but with more over-the-top comedy attached. Her response to being placed in a four-on-one handicap match is that she is drunk and horny. She has handprints over her ass region. She also carries a flask at all times and finds time to be a couple with a man with a giant hobo beard named Eric Young. Put simply, it’s remarkable that fart humor hasn’t become her milieu.

Now, it is not implicitly funny that a redneck stereotype farts, but it is funny that the sort of insanity of ODB’s character makes farting almost an afterthought. The genius of fart humor can also come by the realization that a character has been created with such ridiculousness that farting no longer is a focus, but a quirk. ODB is drawn, albeit more broadly, like the aforementioned Melissa McCarthy character in Bridesmaids. 

If Natalya’s new gimmick ran in the same vein as that character in Bridesmaids, it could work. Yet wrestling has somehow failed to make farts funny just yet. Well, except for this one time when Rocky did it.

*By Trey Irby of Crimson Mask*

Edited by K Sawyer Paul

A woman holding a world championship in WWE is an insane notion, especially to anyone who’s even remotely familiar with the company’s product. The average WWE Diva is a rail-thin model who dresses up in pretty clothes and pretends to be a professional wrestler before jetting off to a photoshoot or appearing at public relations events. I don’t dislike the Divas for their career choices—they’re going out and performing in the ring, whereas I can’t—but most of these women seem to have no ambition to improve the situation for future Divas or reach new heights of accomplishment within WWE.

One woman stands to begin a change all on her own, however. Her name is Kharma.

WWE has employed women who didn’t fit the idea of the typical Diva before (Chyna, Jazz, Tamina, and Beth Phoenix, etc.,), but aside from Chyna’s Intercontinental Championship reign and the brief Royal Rumble Match appearances of Beth and Chyna, no woman in WWE has ever competed against a man for a world title. The company knows there’s a number of issues with putting a woman in the ring with a man (not the least of which is the appearance of advocating violence against women), but this is where Kharma changes the entire game.

Kharma made a name for herself in Japan and America as Amazing Kong (a name inspired by Japanese joshi legend Aja Kong). Her intimidating appearance was backed up by her incredible strength and ring skill, which made her a formidable foe for every woman who stepped into the ring with her. Cleanly defeating Kong was a daunting task, but doing so was seen as a huge accomplishment to any woman’s career. After all, they felled a woman who’s at least twice as large as the average female wrestler.

Kong’s domination around the world led her to be hired by TNA in 2007 as part of its fledgling Knockouts Division; after changing her prefix ‘Amazing’ to ‘Awesome’, Kong spent the next three years as one of TNA’s signature female performers. Her on-and-off feud with Gail Kim helped establish the Knockouts as a viable draw, and—as in other promotions—beating Kong was seen as a huge boost to the career of any woman who managed to accomplish the feat. Kong held the Knockouts Championship twice, and while she also held the Knockouts Tag Team Championship (with Japanese star Ayako Hamada), her tag title reign was cut short when she left the company.

In late 2010, Kong signed with WWE, and in 2011 debuted at the Extreme Rules pay-per-view under the name of Kharma. Her first target was Michelle McCool, who had lost a ‘loser retires’ match against Layla moments before Kharma’s debut. In a few brief moments, Kharma nailed Michelle with her signature implant buster maneuver and sent the embarassed McCool packing. Kharma’s reign of terror over the Divas continued on Raw and SmackDown, as she attacked other Divas in a similar fashion—except for Kelly Kelly, who always managed to escape the behemoth’s wrath.

Kharma’s initial run lasted only a month (her career was temporarily derailed by pregnancy), but at the 2012 Royal Rumble event, Kharma returned as the twenty-first entrant in the Royal Rumble Match. She caused Michael Cole to eliminate himself, delivered an implant buster to Dolph Ziggler, and eliminated Hunico before being eliminated by Ziggler. While her time in the rumble was brief, it was memorable, and it may have also been a precursor of what’s to come in Kharma’s WWE career.

Wrestling is built around telling stories and making the implausible seem real; it’s about a carefully-constructed illusion designed to draw in viewers. Kharma is a special attraction, since she breaks the stereotype of what a woman hired by WWE should look like. Her appearance alone makes her look more powerful than the majority of other women in WWE today. Fans might be able to buy Beth Phoenix, Tamina, and (maybe) Natalya having a chance in a match against Kharma, but the rest of the Divas look like mere stepping stones in Kharma’s path of destruction.

Kharma is destined for something greater than the ‘Butterfly Belt’, and while I believe she will hold the Divas Championship as soon as she makes her full-time in-ring return, she won’t remain in the Divas division forever. There’s no future for Kharma in a division dominated by ‘Barbie dolls’ and models—and WWE appears to recognize this, as Kharma is not listed as part of the Divas roster on WWE’s website.

Chyna paved the way for women to be taken seriously in intergender matches, and these days, women on the independent scene are proving they can wrestle against men and hold their own. Sara Del Rey spent the better part of 2011 in CHIKARA beating up her former BDK teammates, and she was pegged by numerous pundits as having a shot to win the company’s 12 Large Summit and become its first Grand Champion. Portia Perez won (and lost) the top title in Anarchy Championship Wrestling (the ACW Heavyweight Championship), during the promotion’s Lone Star Classic tournament in late 2011. Kharma’s potential is limited only by how far WWE is willing to take her—and unless the company wants to have her career stagnate in the black hole that is the Divas division, it will push her into intergender matches sooner rather than later.

WWE has something special with Kharma: she’s a skilled ring worker, she can cut a good promo when she needs to, and she has an intimidating presence which lends itself well into making her a dominating figure in any situation. Kharma represents the potential for female wrestlers to be taken seriously in the ring, to be treated as equals to their male counterparts instead of as “bathroom break” performers or the butt of overtly sexist jokes.

Besides, who wouldn’t want to see Kharma win the WWE Championship?

Stephen T. Stone is a longtime wrestling fan who writes columns for his personal wrestling blog, Grapple Kingdom. He’s an advocate of quality storytelling in wrestling—and a big fan of women’s wrestling.

Edited by K Sawyer Paul.